You BIG dummy!!

I hate it when customers come back for a noise in their car. They think it's the suspension going out or loose.
Today, I got a '08 Chevy, 46K miles with noise in the rear. Test drove it and I confirmed there was noise from the rear. It sounded it was coming from the trunk. So I opened the trunk to find out there was a bottle of coolant and a spray bottle. I knew already that was making the noise from shifting around.

I took the bottles and placed it at the rear seat and made sure it will not be moving around and be hitting each other. Then got in the drivers seat and took off and braked hard. I said to myself, did you hear that? Nope I did not hear a thing. EXACTLY!!

Some of these customers have no common sense!! Stop wasting my time!! I don't get paid to just remove a couple of bottles out of your trunk, FUCKERS!!

Why does my a/c fan work only on 4 and 5 setting??

This '03 Chevy Malibu got me stumped. First, I checked all the fuses and relays connected to the a/c controls and they were all good. Then I thought the resistors were bad in the a/c control assembly on the dash. So I replaced it and the problem was still there. That cost the used car department about $400!! OOPPSSS my fault!!

I found out that the blower motor resistors was located adjacent to the a/c blower on the passenger side underneath the glove box. The resistors controls the speed of the a/c fan. I made the assumption that the resistors were located in the controls like other makes have it. I found this out by going to our online system we have on looking at all the other car makes "how to" stuff and part replacements.

So I got the part and replaced it. And yippy it worked!! Got paid for only and hour but spent about two on it. Lesson learned. Always check the online site to save time and money. Oh, and the blower motor resistor cost below $40. I could have saved the used car sales department $400 for the control unit but the got the benjamins. You herr'e meeee!!

It would be nice to have a BMW.

I test drove a 2005 BMW 645Ci Coupe. It had a V8 engine, 4.4L with 60K miles on it and it was a blast to drive. I love this car!! Only 1 problem is it doesn't fit my budget!! Blue book on this baby is $30K!! That can buy 30 carabaos and it only eats grass!! Haha...Hehee!! Just thinking about how my ancestors traveled before.

One of the many things I like about this car it handles very well on the road, it sticks to the road like bubble gum or your hair. But it eats gas like a fat boy in a Las Vegas hotel buffet line. Just eating what's in front of him. Like a black hole. From dead stop to 60MPH it felt like I was getting sucked in the chair. It's pretty fast. It has to be, it has a V8!!

And the interior is really nice. The seats are comfortable, only problem is, it can't scratch your back. If I paid $30K for a car it should!! Right??!!

Overall I give this car a 10. But of course, it's a luxury car!! It is a guarantee you will have heads turning and chicks digging it and your wallet!!

General Motors files!!

American industrial icon has fallen to bankruptcy. GM will permanently close nine more plants and idle three others to trim production and labor costs under protection.

Porsche Anyone?? No Thank You for me!!

If you have the money to replace a $1500 instrument cluster, then you might as well buy 2 of it. Because the digital main menu display does not show clearly, meaning it is missing some letters and such. It was very hard for me to read it.

Today, I test drove a 2005 Porsche-shiiiiit Cayenne!! It had 41000 mile on it.
When I took it for a spin I slammed on the gas pedal, stomped on the brake pedal, swerved hard left and right, this is what I usually do on all the used cars I'm assigned to. I do this to find out if the car will hold up in extreme conditions and to see if any problem will happen then and there.

What I really hate about this car is... What the hell is all those symbols on the knobs on the dash means. I swear every car maker wants to be different. So in order for me to know what's all that stuff is I had to break out the thick ass manual. Obviously, this car has a shit load of stuff. I'm surprised the car doesn't have a built in back scratcher on the seat!! Or a built in massage my feet machine while I'm at a stop light. I think these ideas are good. Don't you think??

Overall, I rate this car from 1-10 a "9". Wait...wait. Let's take away 8 points because of the $1500 instrument cluster defect. So I guess it is a "1". And mind all of you it is not a warranty part!!
The used car manager decided to sell it at auction and not take the chance it will break again. I think he did a good move. But the car drove OK......for now.

Car cranking long from a distance.

I was on my computer surfing the web and then I heard a car trying to start. It was the lot porters with a used Saturn from trade in. They were using it temporarily to just get around this big dealership.

Anyway, the car would not start, they were cranking the shit out of it. I was surprised the starter didn't go out. So I walked over to check the car out. I said does it have fuel? A mexican guy I'll call Cisco said yes, filled it up this morning. I looked at the gauge just to confirm.

Then I said to Cisco to just place his finger on the fuel pump relay in the junction box, next to the engine to feel if there is a click when I crank the motor. He was hesitant and speaking somethiing in spanish not directly to me. I think he said he does'nt want to get shock. A salesman watching understood what he said and instead placed his finger on the relay. The other porters were laughing at him. That was funny since you won't get shocked. So when I cranked it he said it clicked. We determined the relay was good.

I told them to wait a minute and went to get the carburetor cleaner and some tools. I removed the air filter housing and gave a couple sprays through the throttle body. Told Cisco to start it. And it started right up and died 2 seconds later. The problem was the fuel pump not giving enough fuel, I said. Tested all the fuses to see if any fuses are burnt but all were good.

I did'nt get paid for it but a thank you from them felt good.

Got NO START or NO CRANK??

Today, I got an employees car with a no start, no crank when the key is turned in 'ON' position. It's an '01 Saturn, SL2, 1.9, 4 banger. I was going to call a couple of my fellow co-workers to push it in my bay but decided to look at it in the Las Vegas hot sun first. Maybe I can diagnose it quick.

Well, here is what I did. I got my jump box( basically a small battery in a plastic box with cables) and connected it to the car battery and tried to start it. To see if the battery needed extra cranks for the engine to turn. But it didn't, it's obvious already because the wipers and light work just fine. But it didn't hurt to try. So the battery was good. Hint: If your car cranks slow, check the battery by turning your lights and wipers on. If the light looks dim or the wipers works slow. Your battery is dead. Ask someone to jump it.

So I got my test light and tested all the fuses in the car and in the engine bay. All fuses tested OK. Also I switched some relays to see what will happen. Then I went back into the car and played around with the key in the ignition to see if the ignition was a problem. While I was turning the key in the 'ON' position I can here the relays inand out of the car switching on/off. That gave me a hint that the key ignition was working right.

The next thing I did was I got my breaker bar(it's a long heavy rod looking tool) and went back to the car and started look for the starter. AAHHH!!, there you are in the bottom of the intake manifold and close to the firewall. So what I did next is I slid my breaker bar down on top of the starter and gave it one hard hit. It was funny because I was doing this in the employees parking lot. Some of the salesman looking at me as if I was a sweaty gorilla breaking the car.

After that I went back in the car, turned the ignition and it just started right up. To diagnose this took me about 30 minutes. Not bad...at least I did not have to ask some techs to push it in. Drove it in the shop and racked it up. Go the price for a new starter.

Told the service advisor it's the starter that's bad. He said are you sure and said "HELL YES!!" Do you think I don't know what I'm doing?? He smirked.
The employee is going shit in his pants because the starter is going to cost about $300 and labor is not included.
Now I'm just waiting fo approval.